Again I Go Unnoticed...

She smiles
As if she's done something right, something to be proud of
But it is something stupid
Something that would ruin her friendship with some of us

Whoever knew that that girl who has such a great smile, personality and talent would hurt herself? She hurts herself so bad that bruises can be seen on her skin. I felt the pain. We try to help her, everyday, giving her alternatives in letting out her rage. But she never listens. No one ever does.

"Do that again and I'll jump off the building..."

"I'll try..."

"I'll try not to jump then..."

"Alright."

"..."

That hurt me a lot. Doesn't she believe me?.. Doesn't she know that by hurting herself like that, she gives other people the wrong idea that they too should hurt themselves? I know that she has a lot of problems in her life. But hurting herself is not the answer. Doesn't she know that we're here for her? That we would try our best to help her with her problems? Doesn't she appreciate that we're here?...

I have no idea and most of the times, I turn out to become nosy with other people's business to find out the answer. At other times, I make the mistake of not being nosy enough.

She's not the only person who has those problems. I have experienced some of what she's going through, but I've stopped trying to kill myself over something I know I can fix soon, if not later. I guess not all people can...

I feel so useless that I can't do anything for her. I feel so stupid to TRY and do something for her. She's practically the sister I never had and yet I can't do anything to help her.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I help her? Why can't I help them?
Why am I so useless?